Tag: happyspreadshappinezz

  • For Our Happy, One Year Without You ❤️

    For Our Happy, One Year Without You ❤️

    One year.

    One whole year since you suddenly left us, Happy.

    It still doesn’t feel real. It still feels like yesterday. We lost you to GDV so suddenly, at a time when I was pregnant and dreaming about the day you would meet your little human brother. I remember imagining you with him, wondering how much you would love him and how you would become his little guardian (which I know you still are, from up above). But you never got to meet him.

    And somehow, the hardest part is that Sharva is so much like you. He wakes up at 6:30 in the morning, just like you always did. He loves people. He loves going out. He is always so happy to meet everyone. He is a big FOMO baby just like you! His eyes always track me, just like yours always did! And, of course, he absolutely loves his food, just like you did! 

    Sometimes I look at him and think, Happy, is that you! Happy, you would have loved Sharva. You would have been so excited to meet your little brother. I can imagine you following him around, watching everything he does, sitting beside him while he eats, and probably keeping a very close eye on whether he was going to share his food with you! I wish more than anything that you had gotten to meet him.

    You may not be present physically, but you are still such a huge part of our everyday life. Everyone in the family still talk about you as if you are right here with us. Your pictures are everywhere around the house. We see your face every day. We tell Sharva stories about you. He also has a book about you and him. We show him your pictures and talk to him about his big sister Happy—about how much you loved people, how much you loved going out, how much you loved food, and how much happiness you brought wherever you went.

    You are still part of our conversations.

    Still part of our memories.

    Still part of our home.

    Still part of our family.

    We miss you every single day.

    Every single minute.

    And there is another part of losing you that still hurts—the thought of Stella without you. Sometimes we feel guilty that, with Sharva taking up so much of our time and attention, there are moments when we don’t give Stella as much attention as we wish we could. And in those moments, I can’t help but think that you should have been here. You would have kept her company like you always did.

    She wouldn’t have had to wonder where everyone was. She would have had you beside her, just as she always did. I wish you were here to keep her company. I wish you were here to share in this crazy, beautiful chaos of our family growing. I wish Stella still had her Happy beside her becaue last year on this day Stella lost her best friend too.

    Sometimes I wonder if Sharva’s little quirks are your way of staying connected to us. His love for people. His excitement to go out. His early mornings. His absolute love for food. That happy little spirit. Maybe a little piece of you really did find its way to him.

    And I hope you know, Happy, that your little brother is growing up surrounded by your memory. He may never get to feel your soft fur or see your wagging tail, but he will know you. He will grow up hearing your name, seeing your pictures, and knowing just how loved you were.

    You were never just our dog. You were our family. Our happiness. Our constant companion. A huge piece of our hearts. And one year later, you still are. Happy, I hope wherever you are, you know how deeply you are loved. You are still spoken about. Still remembered. Still missed. And if love could have kept you here, you would have lived forever.

    We miss you, our Happy girl.

    Every day.
    Every minute.
    Always.

    To Happy — Forever Our Girl, Forever Sharva’s big Sister, Forever Stella’s Companion, and Forever a part of our Family. ❤️🐾

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    It gives me some peace of mind that in some parallel universe all 3 of you are togethor! 🤞🏻❤️🧿
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    The last photo of you in my phone 🥹 My beautiful baby girl ❤️
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    Your Favorite Toys and Treatbox are still there, only for Stella to share sometimes 💕
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    Even though Priyank was Your Person, you never left my side even for a minute from the day you found out I was Pregnant till the end of your life! ♾️
  • “Before I Was ‘His Mom,’ I Was Hers: The Guilt I Carry for my Darling Stella”

    “Before I Was ‘His Mom,’ I Was Hers: The Guilt I Carry for my Darling Stella”

    There’s a quiet kind of guilt no one really talks about—the kind that settles in your chest when your heart is stretched between a newborn baby and a loyal old companion who has loved you long before motherhood began. I didn’t expect this.

    When I imagined my life with a baby, I pictured sleepless nights, endless cuddles, and a love so overwhelming it would change me. And it did. But what I didn’t fully prepare for was the way that same love would divide my time and leave someone else waiting. My sweet child Stella. My 10-year-old baby dog. My first “child.” My shadow.

    She still follows me from room to room, just like she always has. If I get up, she gets up. If I walk into another space, I can hear her soft footsteps behind me, like a gentle reminder: I’m still here, Mom. But now, things are different.

    Most of my day revolves around feeding, soothing, rocking, and holding my little human. And Stella—sweet, patient Stella—has learned to adjust in ways that break my heart if I think about it too long.

    She waits. She watches me cradle Sharva, her eyes quietly asking for just a little piece of me too. Not demanding. Never demanding. Just hoping. And the part that hurts the most? She knows when to come close.

    At night, after I finally put Sharva off to sleep and the house exhales into silence, Stella slowly walks over. No jumping. No barking. Just a quiet presence beside me, as if she’s been waiting her turn all along. Only then does she come for her hugs, her cuddles—her moment. Like she understands. And maybe that’s what makes the guilt heavier. Because she does understand.

    There are days when I snap at her barking. Days when Sharva is crying, I’m overwhelmed, and her voice feels like too much noise added to an already overflowing moment. I get frustrated. I tell her to stop. I lose patience. And almost instantly, regret follows.

    Because deep down, I know—she’s still just a child too. Maybe older, slower, quieter… but still my baby in her own way. She isn’t barking to annoy me. She’s speaking. She’s asking. She’s trying to find her place in this new version of our life.

    And then there’s another layer to this guilt. A deeper, more tender ache. My Happy. My other dog. My heart dog. The one who left when I was six months pregnant. Sometimes I think about how it would have been if she were still here. I imagine her watching me care for the baby. I imagine her waiting too. Maybe even craving more attention than Stella does now. And that thought stings.

    Because I know I wouldn’t have been able to give her everything she deserved either. And somehow, that realization brings both comfort and pain. Comfort—because it reminds me that I’m only human, doing the best I can in a season that demands so much. Pain—because love doesn’t shrink just because time does. If anything, it grows. And stretches. And sometimes it aches.

    Being a mom doesn’t just mean loving your child. It also means learning how to carry the quiet guilt of not being everything, all at once, to everyone you love. To my baby, I am constant. To Stella, I am still hers, just in smaller pieces. And maybe that’s what she’s teaching me right now—grace.

    Grace in the waiting.
    Grace in the in-between moments.
    Grace in knowing that love doesn’t always look like time but it still exists, deeply and undeniably.

    So tomorrow when Sharva is with his Papa, I’ll sit with Stellu a little longer. I’ll scratch her neck the way she loves. I’ll let her rest her head on my lap. I’ll remind her—without words—that she hasn’t been replaced. Because she hasn’t. She never could be. She was my first baby. And she still is. And will always be!

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    Always by my side 💖
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    Kissi time anytime 😘
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    Always my shadow😍
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    ❤️
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    Waiting for mommy 😭
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    She is my mommy too!
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    I think hes okay! 🤷🏻‍♀️
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    I share my mom, you share your toys! 😏
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    Crazy baby crazy parents 😵‍💫
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    Special mention to my angel girl Happy, you made me a mom, and I always love you and miss you my child! 😇